Nourishing Lentil Bake & Emotional Eating

Nourishing Lentil Bake

Hello lovely humans!

Today’s recipe is a highly requested one! I showed myself creating this in my Instagram stories a few days ago and so many people asked me to share it. So, here it is!

I created this recipe while compiling my menu for the upcoming KZN Magic Mountain retreat which is happening at the end of April 2020 (there are still a couple more spaces if you would like to join us for a week of exploration in the Drakensburg mountains, exploring movement, meditation, healing, rock art and music. If  you would like more information about this event, check out  www.original-condition.com).

So, this recipe is the ultimate healthy, plant-based, comfort food. ‘Comfort food’ in our modern world is heavily associated with ‘unhealthy,’ Westernized meals such as burgers, fries, Mac 'n Cheese and other take-out options. However, my theory is that comfort food came about as a result of peasants who ate really hearty, dense meals that were in fact really nourishing after long hours of working and being in the fields (remember the days, way back, when we – humans, not machines - used to work the land?). These meals would have been heavier than the food eaten throughout the day, which meant that evening meals would place higher digestive demands on the individuals. This would consequently activate the parasympathetic nervous system of the muncher (moving one out of fight/flight/freeze mode and into relax and heal mode - which was needed after long, strenuous working hours). Comfort food is not necessarily only about “unhealthy” food, but is also associated with staple meals made throughout ones’ childhood - like mom’s famous “spagbol” or, for me, my gran’s cheese scones or her wicked Mac ‘n Cheese . Sometimes, it is something as simple as a toasted cheese & tomato sandwich. My dad used to make the most fantastical left-over-veg pie. Hmmmm, now to me that is a bundle of healthy, edible nostalgia right there.

I want to try and bring back the notion of comfort food being both comforting as well as health-supportive. Comfort food shouldn’t necessarily make you feel cruddy after eating it. Comfort food, conventionally understood, is synonymous with feeling lethargic, tired, and heavy. In my opinion, true comfort food could also buoy your spirit and make you feel nourished, cosy and immensely satisfied & content while simultaneously having a calming and soothing effect on the nervous system.

Having said this, I don’t believe in eating 100% healthy, nutrient-dense foods all of the time. Trust me, coming from a history of being absolutely rigid and fixated on eating only healthy foods all of the time, (to the exclusion of any semblance of food freedom and flexibility around social situations with regard to food and freedom of spirit), I just know that there is definitely plenty of space for more “unhealthy”, processed foods - particularly if they make you emotionally happy. I now really believe that it is about finding a balance between healthy foods that make you feel physically great, and foods that might not be the most objectively “healthy,” but which facilitate greater health in mind, energy and spirit.

I find this approach (i.e. the less dogmatic and obsessive-about-health approach) more realistic and sustainable. I also think it is important because it includes a more encompassing and holistic understanding of health as being beyond just the physical, into the mental and emotional realms of wellbeing, and how these interweave to create true and vibrant health. This is especially important when you are trying to break away from food dogma, diet culture and disordered eating behaviors. In addition, if you are trying to establish a healthy relationship to food, it’s not very helpful to see foods in terms of “good” and “bad” or “healthy/unhealthy”. That said, I do use the word ‘healthy’ because regardless of where you are coming from and what you would like to take away from this recipe, I think it  satisfies both the health-conscious and the person who just wants to satisfy that “comfort food craving”.

COMFORT FOOD & EMOTIONAL EATING

The whole idea about comfort food fascinates me a lot, actually. In our present society, particularly within diet culture, there is an underlying belief that one should have enough discipline to avoid the temptations of using food as a tool to satisfy emotions (i.e. emotional eating). However, there is a strong current in the movement of Intuitive Eating that aims to claim back the recognition that actually, using food to self-soothe is a very natural, emotionally-intelligent, and biological response to comfort and a way of making contact with a basic sense of safety and wellbeing.

When we are young and highly dependent on our parents feeding us in order to survive, we learn that food = safety/support/care/love. So, it is only natural that this mental programme remains engrained in us even as we get older (particularly if there is unresolved emotional baggage or trauma from childhood). So, we find ourselves at the age of 25 (by way of example) and turning to food for comfort and a sense of love - particularly when externally in our life, love/support/care feels far away from us. We then feel guilty for turning to food for comfort in a culture that glorifies the discipline that shuts us off from this natural instinct. Diet culture makes us feel that there is something intrinsically wrong with us for being so weak as to find comfort and solace in food in times of emotional turmoil. However, let us move BEYOND the shame and guilt of that. There is a very normal, healthy and instinctual thing at play here.

From a physiologically perspective, the ingestion of food activates our parasympathetic nervous system which takes us out of an adrenaline response and into a soothed, relaxed and calmer state (which is why, physiologically, food literally makes us feel good and safe). Inversely, when we are hungry or haven’t eaten and emotions strike, this can really activate a strong adrenaline/cortisol (fight/flight/freeze) response. This is characterized by feelings of not being safe in the world and feeling like you need to be “on guard”.

Psychologically, food creates a a barrier between the world and the self. So, for those of us who are intensely sensitive to things (people’s energy, crowds, empaths, etc.), there is an important psychological reason to use food as a tool for protection: the brain and nervous system recognize the need for a bit of a wall between the abrasiveness of life’s experiences and the self. In this, food becomes a consistent wall of protection between a perceived sense of vulnerability and the unfolding of unpredictable life experiences that supposedly threaten our very existence (they very rarely do, but the deep seated belief of not being safe in the world can make one believe this, therefore resulting in a deeper dependency on this natural response of using food as protection to feel more protected both psychologically and physiologically). However, there is most certainly some overlap here where people use food as an avoidance strategy to defer doing emotional work (AND, that is allowed to because sometimes, it is just not the right time to go deep and do emotionally taxing inner work!).

Either way, food is used emotionally: it can help us avoid feelings of discomfort within ourselves, it can help us ground ourselves more in being in a physical body, but it can also sometimes create a slight dissociation from the experience of being in a body. So, it really comes back to your WHY: your intention.

If I am right, it follows that in our minds, food still equals safety because of a complex nexus of physiology, psychology as well an intricate web of past experiences that all combine to make up your current way of relating to food and to yourself.

If you feel that you tend to “emotional eat”, well done. This is a very intuitive, natural process. You are connected to your deepest safe space. So, instead of berating yourself, pat yourself on your back and move forward in your life with greater compassion for your eating and food behaviour. Let me re-iterate this, it is natural!

One thing that I love SO much about the intuitive eating movement is how it encourages a  deep allowing and space for any and all reasons that we reach for food (be that to create an emotional avoidance strategy or to feel safe, or to activate the parasympathetic nervous system - you name it: it is all VALID). I found this really powerful, because I think that setting up dogmatic beliefs around the fact that we “shouldn’t” use food as an emotional tool creates a deep shame complex in people when they “succumb” to not listening to this natural process of searching for safety and comfort in food. Creating a shame complex around this natural response to life exacerbates the shame cycle because people then  search for comfort and self-soothing tools through things outside of themselves because emotionally they have turned on themselves through the feelings of self-criticism, judgment and shame. So, instead of feeding this daemon of shame, step outside of the judgment cycle completely by giving yourself the permission to eat and reach for food for whatever reason. The power of giving yourself unconditional permission to do whatever you need to in any given moment is unbelievable. When there is total freedom of choice, you will find that the embodiment of autonomy makes you not feel the need to reach for external comforts as much (or as often) because you are connecting more fully to a true and deep comfort within yourself. Essentially, there is a stronger core of self from which you can pull a powerful self-directed comfort.

I would like to say, however, that even though it is an entirely normal response to life’s events and experiences, in some cases it can become slightly dysfunctional if we do not infuse it with awareness, mindfulness and compassion. I would say that it moves into the realm of dysfunctional when we 1) do not appreciate/recognize this natural response to use food as a tool for self-soothing; 2) when we experience feelings of shame, fear, guilt and reduction in self-esteem even after acknowledging this natural process’s value; 3) when it starts to prevent you from socializing and becomes highly addictive and secretive and your mental and physical health decline. However, even if it is dysfunctional to some extent, judging yourself into changing your patterns is not sustainable or healing and does not address the root issue behind the patterns either because it often amounts to a ‘turning on oneself’ (turning on yourself isn’t going to solve anything). This inquiry work is important work to do (which I expand on below). 

If you feel that for you this natural response has been somewhat over-used because your core beliefs consistently make you believe that you are not truly safe in the world (often as a result of childhood responses to life), I would recommend you start a deep process of inner inquiry.

 

INNER INQUIRY WORK

Ask yourself what your core beliefs about yourself and your/the world are, such as: do you feel truly safe in the world; do you feel supported by life; are you constantly expecting the next bad thing to happen; do  you struggle to trust joy, love and happiness in a given moment when it arises; do  you feel worthy of receiving and LIVING joyfully and with an open and content heart; do  you feel worthy of loving yourself and of being loved fully as you are; do  you feel that you add value to life; do  you feel anxiety around food and food times; how  do you really relate to food; what  are your beliefs, rules and ideas around food and WHERE do they actually come from -  your family, diet  culture, patriarchy; do you feel that you are important; does the world around you bring up fear;  do you tend to be controlling; do unpredictable, uncontrollable life events make your sense of being safe in world feel shattered?

What are some deep inner core beliefs that you hold onto that no longer really support you? Can you identify them and then consciously work with them to reframe the way you relate to yourself and life? Is the love that you have for yourself conditional? Do you need to seek professional help to assist you in navigating these internal waters of the psyche? Can you start to observe patterns within your natural comfort food responses that might help you to understand them better? Are your comfort food responses really dysfunctional, or is that your perfectionist, rigid, idealist, eating disordered mind is telling you that you cannot use food as a source of comfort and pleasure and safety in your life? Instead of judging yourself for your patterns, try changing your response to them. Can  you infuse as much love, compassion, tenderness and gentleness into your behaviors as possible and invite in consciousness instead of judgment? Waking up to your patterns with a gentle compassion is key to finding sustainable change that is really supportive of your whole wellbeing.

There are so many other questions that you can begin asking yourself in order to open up to a very honest and authentic conversation with yourself around these topics. Remember, there really is no right or wrong way of doing this inner work. All I can suggest is that you do it with as much openness, tenderness and awareness as you can because this work is intricate and fragile. You do not need to add layers of judgment upon already firmly established layers of shame and guilt. Let that go and just become curious. Notice how much space to approach these vulnerable topics arises when you approach your self with curiosity instead of judgment. Bottom line: curiosity > judgment.

In my own journey I have found that I have really needed to ask myself these questions deeply and truthfully and to be open enough within myself to hear the truthful answers that arise. I’ve also had to learn to be okay with the fact that the answers that arise might not be what I want to hear, but what I know I need to hear in order to bring deeper healing into my life.  I have also found that I have had to find an appropriate balance of listening to my instinctual body (physiologically needs, instinctive responses to life and food, listen to my hunger cues properly etc.) and listening to the energetic/spiritual body (which is infused with higher consciousness and can often be so high up that the needs of the body are surpassed or even overlooked). I recognized about a week ago that I really did use spirituality for years to bypass the needs of my body, all in the name of “transcending the physical”. However, in my opinion, this is not a sustainable or true path of spiritual evolution. We come to spiritual expansion by establishing an appropriate, healthy balance of listening to our spiritual needs and our physiological needs without letting either side dominate the other, but instead letting them feed into a synergistic and interactive relationship that supports one another in both physical wellbeing and spiritual/emotional wellbeing.

ANYWAY!

Back to the recipe … 

Cue the magic of this meal. I think this meal has a beautiful balance between healthy, hearty, comforting (in both the Westernized and traditional sense of the word), and a really nourishing feel. It’s got the hearty, savoury filling which is comprised of lentils, eggplant, spinach and a variety of other goods. It is then topped off with a decadent, creamy, flavourful and nutritious layer which acts as a “mozerella-like” topping.

I hope this meal buoys your spirit and allows you to feel really satisfied and fulfilled as it did for me!

Ingredients:

For the Filling:

•   1 cup dry lentils

•   3 cups water

•   1 teaspoon salt

•   1 cup chopped pumpkin, raw

•   1/2 cup red kidney beans, tinned

•   2 eggplants, chopped

•   6 garlic cloves in total

•   2 gherkins (or other pickled veg), chopped

•   2 carrots

•   1 tablespoon olive oil

•   3 bay leaves

•   2 teaspoons cumin, ground

•   2 teaspoons coriander, ground

•   1 teaspoon cinnamon, ground

•   1 teaspoon turmeric, ground

•   1/2 teaspoon ginger, ground

•   1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper, ground

•   1-2 teaspoon dry thyme

•   3 tablespoons sweet chili sauce or chutney

•   1/4 cup raisins

•   1 cup tinned tomato braai salsa (or just regular tinned tomatoes)

•   3-4 cups baby spinach

•   2 tablespoons soy sauce

•   2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar

For the “Mozerella” Layer

•   1/4 cup of high quality olive oil

•   1/4 cup of unbleached flour (can also use chickpea or buckwheat flour if wanting gluten-free option)

•   2 cups of unsweetened soy milk

•   1 teaspoon corn flour

•   1 teaspoon water

•    Salt & pepper

Method:

1.     In a pot, place the 3 cups of water, the dry lentils, and 1 tsp salt. Bring to the boil, then turn down to a simmer and cover for 15 minutes until the lentils are cooked through & tender.

2.     Preheat your oven to 180 degrees celsius. In a big pan, place 1 tablespoon of olive oil, the chopped carrots, 3 of the 6 garlic cloves, the eggplant, the pickled veg, the pumpkin and cook until slightly softened.

3.     Add in the spices and bay leaves, cooking until fragrant and delish. Add as small a splash of water as is needed to avoid anything from burning on the bottom of the pan.

4.     Add in the tinned tomato/salsa, the soy sauce and the balsamic. Continue cooking it down on a medium heat until it thickens and is delicious and savory.

5.     Once it has finished cooking, add in the spinach, the remaining 3 crushed garlic cloves (raw), the raisins and the sweet chili sauce and stir well. Add the lentils & kidney beans. Taste, and adjust as you desire (adding more salt or more acidity for example).

6.     Place this mixture in a baking dish and set aside until your sauce is done.

7.     In a saucepan, place the olive oil and bring to a slow boil. Add in the flour and essentially “fry” the flour for a minute or two. Then add in the soy milk all at once and keep the heat medium, stirring steadily to ensure it doesn’t lump up or stick to the bottom of the pan.

8.     Make a quick slurry by placing the corn flour into a small bowl with 1 teaspoon of warm water. Mix well and add to the soy milk mixture. Continue cooking, bringing it to the boil to thicken and then, once it has thickened, turn off the heat and let it cool a little. Add salt and pepper.

9.     Pour this “bechemel” sauce over the filling mixture, top with Za’atar and bay leaves and place in the oven for 40 minutes or until golden brown around the edges and slightly firm to the touch.

10.  Take out & ENJOY!!! Serving suggestion: serve with a big fresh salad, avocado and toasted bread for lapping up delicious sauces.